Now that I have a job in the music industry, I thought it would make a good blog entry.
And by job, I mean a very part time one. I work a few hours a week in the library at the Oregon Symphony. It is funny we call our orchestras "symphonies" as a symphony is a type of composition, not really a group. Anyways, what I have done so far is transfer bow markings from the concert master's part to the rest of the section. This is not very interesting. But I broke down folders the other day, and it offered much more insight into an orchestra's workings. I learned about score order and that they keep exact records of how they perform each piece each time (at least in regards to instrumentation). But though I feel like i could, with time and more advanced organizational skills, be pretty good at the job, I could see myself resenting it's triviality at times. That is not to say that the job isn't necessary. In fact, it is jobs like librarian that makes the whole thing happen. Production seems more exciting and hands on, more active. Something different every day. But I have no background in production. We will see.
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Conducting
I just finished my conducting final, and this guy is a bad ass! sometimes he just dances. AND look at the trumpeter with the beard.
Friday, 12 December 2008
Stage Fright
For years and years I have suffered from stage fright. Sometimes it is just not playing my best, sometimes it is so physically crippling that I cannot play my instrument. I thought I got over it, or at least that it was getting much better, but it reared it's ugly head again recently and I don't know why.
I got up to perform and all of a sudden I was shaking terribly and my mouth got dry and it was pretty awful. I had worked so hard on the piece, and I got on that stage and choked. The worst part was I felt prepared, even excited to perform the piece. I was even trying so hard to control my thoughts to think about breathing and being into the piece. But my body took over. I wanted to fight, but the rest of me decided to run away.
I know it is more subliminal than I give it credit, but I just don't identify with the "solutions" given by people on the internet. They suggest reminding yourself that your audience is not there to judge you, but to support you. That's not what I was thinking of before hand. I was thinking of how well I wanted to do and the nuances of my piece. I was stoked! But once it startd I started thinking very negatively.
I should try taking a shot or something. Then if that doesn't work, maybe I can try beta blockers.
(from http://www.ethanwiner.com/BetaBlox.html)
# 1. What are beta blockers (such as Inderal)?
Beta blockers block the receptors for the physical effects of a person's natural fight or flight response. They are not sedatives, and they can't help anxiety of a purely psychological nature.
Beta receptors are found in a number of places in the body: heart, lung, arteries, brain and uterus, to name a few. Like a key in a lock, beta blockers chemically fit into beta receptors and prevent norepinephrine from binding to the receptors that cause the symptoms of the fight-or-flight response.
The degree of these effects depends on the dose and the individual's sensitivity to the medication. Peak effect occurs in one to one and a half hours. Ideally, this could allow a performer to play at his or her best, without the distraction or interference of excessive fight or flight symptoms.
Blocking beta receptors can cause decreased heart rate; decreased force of heart contractions; bronchoconstriction (can cause asthma attacks in people with asthma); uterine contractions; decreased blood pressure; relief of migraines; and decreased tremor.
The beta receptors found in the different areas of the body are not all the same, thus different beta blockers may affect these areas differently. For instance, metoprolol (Lopressor) and atenolol (Tenormin) are beta-1 selective, which means they block only beta-1 receptors found primarily in the heart, but not the beta-2 receptors found in the lung and uterus. Thus, they can decrease blood pressure, heart rate and force of cardiac contraction, but are less likely to cause bronchoconstriction and uterine contractions. This selectivity is not absolute and depends on the dose.
Some beta blockers enter the brain better than others. Propranolol (Inderal) crosses the blood-brain barrier particularly well. This may be why propranolol causes more central nervous system side effects, such as hallucinations, nightmares, and depression, than the beta blockers that do not cross into the brain as easily.
Interestingly, the ability of beta blockers to help anxiety seems related only to their blockade of beta receptors outside of the brain. Beta blockers will not help the emotional symptoms of stage fright (for example, sleep problems or negative inner voices).
Everyone's body responds differently to beta blockers. For this reason it is important that each person experiment, under medical supervision, to find the ideal dosage for a performance situation. Similarly, it is important to take the beta blocker a few times and under different circumstances before a major performance to be sure the individual has no adverse reactions.
This sounds pretty severe, but I do not want to have to ever let myself down like that again.
hmmm
I got up to perform and all of a sudden I was shaking terribly and my mouth got dry and it was pretty awful. I had worked so hard on the piece, and I got on that stage and choked. The worst part was I felt prepared, even excited to perform the piece. I was even trying so hard to control my thoughts to think about breathing and being into the piece. But my body took over. I wanted to fight, but the rest of me decided to run away.
I know it is more subliminal than I give it credit, but I just don't identify with the "solutions" given by people on the internet. They suggest reminding yourself that your audience is not there to judge you, but to support you. That's not what I was thinking of before hand. I was thinking of how well I wanted to do and the nuances of my piece. I was stoked! But once it startd I started thinking very negatively.
I should try taking a shot or something. Then if that doesn't work, maybe I can try beta blockers.
(from http://www.ethanwiner.com/BetaBlox.html)
# 1. What are beta blockers (such as Inderal)?
Beta blockers block the receptors for the physical effects of a person's natural fight or flight response. They are not sedatives, and they can't help anxiety of a purely psychological nature.
Beta receptors are found in a number of places in the body: heart, lung, arteries, brain and uterus, to name a few. Like a key in a lock, beta blockers chemically fit into beta receptors and prevent norepinephrine from binding to the receptors that cause the symptoms of the fight-or-flight response.
The degree of these effects depends on the dose and the individual's sensitivity to the medication. Peak effect occurs in one to one and a half hours. Ideally, this could allow a performer to play at his or her best, without the distraction or interference of excessive fight or flight symptoms.
Blocking beta receptors can cause decreased heart rate; decreased force of heart contractions; bronchoconstriction (can cause asthma attacks in people with asthma); uterine contractions; decreased blood pressure; relief of migraines; and decreased tremor.
The beta receptors found in the different areas of the body are not all the same, thus different beta blockers may affect these areas differently. For instance, metoprolol (Lopressor) and atenolol (Tenormin) are beta-1 selective, which means they block only beta-1 receptors found primarily in the heart, but not the beta-2 receptors found in the lung and uterus. Thus, they can decrease blood pressure, heart rate and force of cardiac contraction, but are less likely to cause bronchoconstriction and uterine contractions. This selectivity is not absolute and depends on the dose.
Some beta blockers enter the brain better than others. Propranolol (Inderal) crosses the blood-brain barrier particularly well. This may be why propranolol causes more central nervous system side effects, such as hallucinations, nightmares, and depression, than the beta blockers that do not cross into the brain as easily.
Interestingly, the ability of beta blockers to help anxiety seems related only to their blockade of beta receptors outside of the brain. Beta blockers will not help the emotional symptoms of stage fright (for example, sleep problems or negative inner voices).
Everyone's body responds differently to beta blockers. For this reason it is important that each person experiment, under medical supervision, to find the ideal dosage for a performance situation. Similarly, it is important to take the beta blocker a few times and under different circumstances before a major performance to be sure the individual has no adverse reactions.
This sounds pretty severe, but I do not want to have to ever let myself down like that again.
hmmm
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Palisades
Jon Wash not only can sing fantastically and in a style worthy of Sufjan, but his arrangement transformed this piece. His arrangement both paid the original homage and offered a new interpretation.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Some London Reviews
Then it was off to the symphony to see Essa-Pekka Salonen conduct the Philharmonia playing Messaien's Turangalila. I went in expecting to be bored of the atonality and happy with the huge symphony. Boy was I wrong, IT was THE MOST intense, captivating and moveing (both emotionally and physically_ piece I have ever heard. Salonen was fantastic, and though the Philharmonia didn't have the polished finesse of the Philharmonic (i might be predjudice), they really gave it their all. It is my new favourite piece, the one I will see every orchestra I can play. I LOVE it and came out charged and raring to go.
The last three performances:
1. Rational Rec: This was... an experience. In retrospect it's harder to be very negative, but I didn't exactly enjoy the concert. It was put on by our music teacher and two of his friends, one of whom is the guy with the talking in hyde park "art". It featured the work of six contemporary composers. The first was a parody/homage to the genre of rock, that consisted of about three chords, a guy screaming "yeah yeah" and him shuffling his ipod. The second was by far the most bizarre. A woman made weeeeird noises, like really weird, while this guy "played" his homemade instrument that emited random electronic sounds. They interviewed each other after that, we had a break, I realized I needed a lot more beer but couldn't afford it, then we went on to the next set. This consisted of an aurally unpleasing trio that was okay at the end, but at first made me want to tear my teeth out. This was followed by a guitar piece, the score of which was a map. The performer chose to go to different buildlings which had different riffs and, if they wanted to cross the road, had to play the elevator music.
I think the nutella and pancakes after this set was a highlight of the evening.
The next one was a duet between clarinet and accordian, which consisted of them trying to imitate eachother, then watching a video of themselves playing, then playig with the video.
The last one was my favorite (which honestly isn't high praise), a fun and raucus tango composed by a hilarious, trashed guy.
WTF?
After a sad, sad, saturday of sitting around doing nothing, I went to the London Phil to see Turnage's Lullaby for Henze, Henze's Seconda Sonata por ARchi, Brahm's Violin Concerto and the famous and beloved Tchaikovsky's sixth symphony.
The orchestra was set up in a wa I'd never seen before. From right to left, it went First Violins, Violas, Cellos, Second Violins, with the Basses behind everyone.
Turnage was good, but unremarkable. He was there, so I felt bad that we didnt' clap longer, but I think the Tchaik was on everyone's mind. I really liked the first movement of the Henze, and I knkew it was a good piece of music, but it was dense and ended on a really odd note.
The Brahms, however, was fantastic. Amazing. Spiritual. I LOVE JOHANESS BRAHMS!! He is just so right for me, so comforting yet interesting. I think I'm at a time in my life where I'm pushing myself to be edgy, to be atonal, but really all I want is something warm to feel safe with. And Brahms always makes me feel safe. The violinist was so organic and natural. Christian Tezlaff is my new favorite violinist. He played the violin like an extension of his body. But as soon as the goreous second movement ended and pounced straight into the third, his string broke. He freaked out and tried to trade violins with the concertmaster (or leader as they call them here), but didn't and ran off stage. While this was happening, behind me a lady repremanded a man for letting his young daughter mess around and disturb her. The kid must have been si or seven, and this lady was being a huge bitch about it. Who likes the symphony when they're that young?
Christian came on again and finished the piece, following it with a simple but perfect encore. Even though I had never heard the concerto before, I think Tetlaff was made to play Brahms.
The Tchaikovsky can't be described. Just listen to it. Jurowski without a score, molded it into his own being, giving it life and emotion that cannot be felt in a recording. The first movement was epic, giving way to a ani-climactic second and a radiant third. The anguish of the fourth held through until the last minute of bass solo, with Jurowski clearly so emotionally involved, one of those heart stopping moments when you're scared your breathing will interupt the sanctity. Then someone's cell phone rang. It was awful. AWFUL. Pooor Vlad!! It clearly menat o much to him and to have technology mar the moment like that... grrr. Sure almost had a kiniption (??) fit. All in all, though, a great musical experince. The phil never fails to impress.
The last three performances:
1. Rational Rec: This was... an experience. In retrospect it's harder to be very negative, but I didn't exactly enjoy the concert. It was put on by our music teacher and two of his friends, one of whom is the guy with the talking in hyde park "art". It featured the work of six contemporary composers. The first was a parody/homage to the genre of rock, that consisted of about three chords, a guy screaming "yeah yeah" and him shuffling his ipod. The second was by far the most bizarre. A woman made weeeeird noises, like really weird, while this guy "played" his homemade instrument that emited random electronic sounds. They interviewed each other after that, we had a break, I realized I needed a lot more beer but couldn't afford it, then we went on to the next set. This consisted of an aurally unpleasing trio that was okay at the end, but at first made me want to tear my teeth out. This was followed by a guitar piece, the score of which was a map. The performer chose to go to different buildlings which had different riffs and, if they wanted to cross the road, had to play the elevator music.
I think the nutella and pancakes after this set was a highlight of the evening.
The next one was a duet between clarinet and accordian, which consisted of them trying to imitate eachother, then watching a video of themselves playing, then playig with the video.
The last one was my favorite (which honestly isn't high praise), a fun and raucus tango composed by a hilarious, trashed guy.
WTF?
After a sad, sad, saturday of sitting around doing nothing, I went to the London Phil to see Turnage's Lullaby for Henze, Henze's Seconda Sonata por ARchi, Brahm's Violin Concerto and the famous and beloved Tchaikovsky's sixth symphony.
The orchestra was set up in a wa I'd never seen before. From right to left, it went First Violins, Violas, Cellos, Second Violins, with the Basses behind everyone.
Turnage was good, but unremarkable. He was there, so I felt bad that we didnt' clap longer, but I think the Tchaik was on everyone's mind. I really liked the first movement of the Henze, and I knkew it was a good piece of music, but it was dense and ended on a really odd note.
The Brahms, however, was fantastic. Amazing. Spiritual. I LOVE JOHANESS BRAHMS!! He is just so right for me, so comforting yet interesting. I think I'm at a time in my life where I'm pushing myself to be edgy, to be atonal, but really all I want is something warm to feel safe with. And Brahms always makes me feel safe. The violinist was so organic and natural. Christian Tezlaff is my new favorite violinist. He played the violin like an extension of his body. But as soon as the goreous second movement ended and pounced straight into the third, his string broke. He freaked out and tried to trade violins with the concertmaster (or leader as they call them here), but didn't and ran off stage. While this was happening, behind me a lady repremanded a man for letting his young daughter mess around and disturb her. The kid must have been si or seven, and this lady was being a huge bitch about it. Who likes the symphony when they're that young?
Christian came on again and finished the piece, following it with a simple but perfect encore. Even though I had never heard the concerto before, I think Tetlaff was made to play Brahms.
The Tchaikovsky can't be described. Just listen to it. Jurowski without a score, molded it into his own being, giving it life and emotion that cannot be felt in a recording. The first movement was epic, giving way to a ani-climactic second and a radiant third. The anguish of the fourth held through until the last minute of bass solo, with Jurowski clearly so emotionally involved, one of those heart stopping moments when you're scared your breathing will interupt the sanctity. Then someone's cell phone rang. It was awful. AWFUL. Pooor Vlad!! It clearly menat o much to him and to have technology mar the moment like that... grrr. Sure almost had a kiniption (??) fit. All in all, though, a great musical experince. The phil never fails to impress.
Sunday, 7 December 2008
My proudest musical moment
My friend's dad is the second violinist in the Kronos Quartet. He got me tickets last time they were in Portland, and it was an incredible concert. They go to do their encore and the first violinist announces that it is dedicated to John's (my friend's dad)family friend who is town for the concert Emily. My first thought was "that is SO funny that he has another family friend here named emily!" Then i realized it was me. It was a Sigur Ros piece, and I don't remember the name of it now, but i wrote it down.
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